By Koketso Motau

Loveness Mokwena was married off to an older man at 16-years-old and later struggled with drug addiction. She also engaged in prostitution to support her children after leaving the marriage.

Young Loveness had no one to turn to in times of need and danger as she allegedly suffered at the hands of her closest relatives. After her mother’s death, Mokwena’s elder sister took her in.

During her stay, Mokwena alleges that she was sexually assaulted by a close relative. She says she tried to speak out, but the allegations were dismissed and ignored by the family.

Mokwena says she felt abandoned when her allegations were dismissed because her abuser was a breadwinner.

“He wanted to turn me into a woman and show me that I’m a woman. So I don’t know what he hit me (with) on the head. I fainted and then the next thing (when) I woke up, I was woken up by a girl that was staying in the same house with us and that’s when I realized oh I’ve been raped. Because I could tell and I could see … this is other signs and so when I told everybody at home they turned against it.”

Her relatives then forced her into a marriage with an older man who proved to be abusive, further perpetuating her suffering.

Years of verbal abuse

Mokwena says she suffered years of verbal abuse at the hands of her husband. Mokwena eventually left the marriage with two children.

Failing to provide for her children, she ended up on the streets as a sex worker.

She says she turned to drugs as an escape from her reality, and became a drug addict.

“I was married to a certain guy, you know these things of tradition will get married and you are still young. The guy was really abusive not physically but verbally. You know words are very painful. Telling me every time (and) reminding me of how much my family doesn’t love me … they had to sell me to him and then from there I moved from here and stay with him in the big city of Polokwane.”

“I had my first child. I was smoking but not too much, then it escalated when I was pregnant with my second born. That’s when he left, I couldn’t afford to pay rent …I couldn’t afford. I was introduced into prostitution by a certain friend of mine. I started smoking drugs.”

Raped by eight men

During her time in the streets as a sex worker, Mokwena was allegedly raped by eight men.

She says although a case was opened at Westernburg police station, no one has ever been arrested.

“They were four guys in the car but when it came back it was three guys. So I still remember they started attacking me when the security guards got that side because they wanted to help. But those guys had to say I’m their girlfriend [and] that I ran away from home and the kids are suffering. I wasn’t confused because I don’t know them.”

“So they took me in the car, we went to the industrial site that’s when I found other guys … and know I was selling my body. They were exchanging (taking turns to rape) and I think I passed out. I don’t know how many times did I pass out. Then the most moment that I remember is when they were saying she’s so … I don’t know what time it was but it was early hours in the morning.”

Mokwena says a non-profit organization that helps gender-based violence victims, Thy Rest Ekuphumleni Restoration Centre came to her aid.

Rehabilitation journey

She says they helped her through her rehabilitation journey.

“Being away from everything and everybody did help. I was able to concentrate with a sober mind. I didn’t go to a rehab but I stayed at the center. I think even the counselling I used to attend, whenever I feel like smoking she (life coach) would talk me through the steps of saying you want to go back where you used to be.”

“Look at yourself, where you are today the progress that you [have made] are coming with and then you want to go back. I was able to sit down and see myself winning this thing.”

Mokwena says the only way to combat gender-based violence is to speak out. She encourages GBV survivors to use their voice and stand up for themselves.

“It starts with you saying what it is a problem. I need help if you can voice out no one can voice out for you. You have to own your voice because once you are overpowered by another individual and then you allow them, you lose your voice, you lose your power. So you need to stand up for yourself and let your voice be heard and search for help whenever you get people that are willing to help grab help with both hands and run with it,” adds Mokwena.

It has been more than five years after Mokwena’s rape ordeal at the hands of eight men

Mokwena says she is still waiting to see justice get served.

--SABC--